That’s a misleading title. I know exactly why I can’t lose weight. I know exactly what I need to do. Maybe after spelling it all out, seeing it in black and white, I will be encouraged to make the changes I need to make.
I have always thought I was fat. Even when I was 17 and 85 pounds (I’m 4’11”), I thought I needed to lose weight. Part of this comes from being built like a two by four–all straight up and down, not a waist to be seen. In high school I was using appetite suppressants, until my friend Dan saw them in my locker and threw them away. The beginnings of some awesome body dysmorphic disorder.
I gained my 15+ pounds in college, subsisting on french fries and pizza. Fifteen pounds on a short person is like thirty on everyone else, I swear. I lost the 15 pounds. I gained slowly through the end of college and into my first years teaching; by the time I was married I weighed the most I ever have. Luckily, my husband (who knew me when I was 85 pounds) didn’t care. I cared, though.
About a year before my son was born, I went to the doctor and received a prescription for weight loss medication that was all the rage at the time. I lost weight. I was almost down to where I wanted to be; it was awesome but it still wasn’t good enough. I still couldn’t reach that elusive goal weight that I set for myself. So, I had babies, gained, lost, gained then lost again. About 4 years ago I was probably in the best shape of my life. Then I was derailed by National Board Certification and have yet to get back on track. (If you’ve done National Boards for teaching, you know that there is about a two month period when ALL you do is work on your portfolio–bye bye Bow Flex.)
I don’t really need to know what to do–I’ve done plenty of research, tried and failed with the quick fixes, cleanses, etc. I just need to do it. And I need to love myself a little more for what my body can do. I grew two human beings, after all.
So here, in black and white are my problem areas:
1. I love food, mostly food that is really not good for me. I love processed meat like bacon and salami and pepperoni. Cheese makes me giddy. Haagen Daaz chocolate ice cream is my ambrosia. I love bread and pasta. I crave fried food. I covet creamy sauces and soups. I like my beer. I know the answer is to eat less of that and eat the healthy, delicious food that will fill me up and keep me healthy.
2. I hate cardiovascular exercise. I can strength train for days. I love yoga. I enjoy walking. I need to move, though. I need to get my heart rate up for extended periods of time, and quite frankly, if I even have a slightly better offer, I will take it.
3. I drink beer. Maybe one or two every night.
I don’t want to reach some magic “everything will be perfect at this weight” weight. I just want to fit into the clothes in my closet. I want to not hate myself for my lack of control, my laziness, and my gut.
Here are the things I’m doing right:
1. I quit smoking 4 years ago.
2. I quit drinking Diet Coke.
3. I increased my garden size by 100%.
4. I started doing yoga regularly, and am walking a couple days after work with my friend and colleague.
5. I eat breakfast every day.
6. I joined my building weight loss challenge to keep me honest, and participate in the wellness program. For the wellness program I keep track of things like fruit and veggie intake, sleep, exercise, flossing, etc. I turn my card in each week, and am entered into a drawing. I actually won today…50 bucks. Woohoo.
7. My husband makes sure I have vegetables at every meal.
Here is my action plan:
1. I will do at least 20 minutes of yoga 6 days a week.
2. I will walk more–and perhaps figure out how to turn myself into a runner.
3. I will only drink beer on weekend nights.
4. I will start using my Bow Flex again.
5. I will concentrate on making and eating healthy food, most of the time.
6. I will try to remind myself that being overweight doesn’t automatically make any good qualities I have null and void.
The time to begin is now, I know. I’m trying to not make drastic, unsustainable changes. I’m not looking for miracles…I just want to fit into my clothes again. I want to stop beating up on myself because of how many chins show up in a photo. I want to enjoy every day and not waste time on negative self-image, and stop comparing my body to everyone else’s. Is this too much to ask?
- 25 Things That Are Keeping You Overweight (diaryofacarboholic.wordpress.com)
- Helpful Tips To Lose Weight And Keep It Off (barbercreek58.wordpress.com)
- Healthy Weight Loss Tips (dominicspoweryoga.com)
- Control Your Weight With These Weight Loss Tips (dominicspoweryoga.com)
- You Can Have Weight Loss Success – Try These Tips (dominicspoweryoga.com)